Find a Way to You
by misstrickster
Summary: Takes place after the season 7 finale. Sam tries to get to Dean, anyway he can. Death fic! Disclaimer: I own nothing.
1. Find a Way to You

Jody dragged Sam out of the bar. "Will stop fighting me off, you are being an idiot Sam" Sam growled and pushed Jody away. "Fine, Jody, I am idiot, what does it matter, I have lost the only person I have loved, I can drink and be an idiot all I want." Jody frowned at Sam. "That is not what Dean would want." Sam yelled, "What about what I want!" Sam looked at the ground sadly, "Why do I have to lose everyone I love?" Jody looked at him sadly. "Hey you haven't lost me and I love you" Jody smiled. Sam looked up and put on a fake smile for the one person who is still here for him. "Thanks Jody, I guess I should go home and go to sleep then." Jody smiled "I'll drive ya." Sam nodded and got into her car and they drove back to Sam's current abode.

When the car stopped and Sam got out, Jody hollered "Keep in touch, I don't want anything happening to you." Sam smiled "I will!" He walked up towards the house as Jody pulled away, never look back at the car or his friend. It had been three days since Jody had heard from Sam, so Jody packed up some food and drove to the house to check on him. The house was dark and quiet. Jody took the food from the car and ascended the steps opening the front door. She was met with dark and silence. "Sam, ya here?" Jody began to look for the young Winchester but saw no sign of him. "Sam?" she said, her voice starting to shake from worry.

Jody climbed the steps to where she knew the bedroom was and opened the door to the room. "Sam, you in here?" Jody's gaze fell to the bed and she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Sam lying on his side on the bed. "Sam, you scared me for a second." She said. Jody hit Sam's shoulder lightly, "Wake up lazy!" Sam didn't move an inch. Jody frowned in worry. She stood up and walked to the light switch turning it on. The room filled with an eerie yellow light.

Jody looked back down at Sam's still form. Tears filled her eyes as she noticed the bullet hole covered in dried blood, it was barely noticeable among Sam's long hair but it was defiantly there. "Oh Sam." Jody let out a sob and fell down next to the body; slowly she pushed it so Sam lay on his back. Jody finally noticed the dried tear marks on Sam's face and the note crumpled in his hand. Jody gentle removed the note from the cold hands and read the final thoughts of the lost man.

_Jody-_

_I know you are not thinking the best of me right now but this is was the only way things could go. I mean, how do you live when the only person who has always been there is finally gone for good. I didn't have a psychic this time so I had to die the old fashion way, by dying and staying dead. Thank you for all you have done, I will never forget you but I can't keep living knowing Dean is gone. I love you_

_-Sam_

Jody's tears fell freely as she grasped the letter close and cried for the two lost souls who gave everything and got nothing in return. Once she could not cry anymore Jody stood and left the sad house the lost boy


	2. Surrounded but Alone

I own nothing. Sam is heaven now. Enjoy the fanfic.

Sam felt someone shake his arm softly. "Sam, honey, wake up." Sam's eyes drifted open slowly. Mary smiled down at her little boy. "Hey sleepyhead, we thought you'd never open your eyes." Sam sat up and looked around wildly. "Mom, Dad?" Sam said in disbelief. John and Mary nodded the smiles never leaving their face. "Where am I, the last thing I remember is talking to my friend Jody and then I had the gun." Sam paused and looked up in surprise. "Am I in heaven?" Mary hugged her son tightly. "Where else would you be?" Sam looked around waiting for the dream to fade. "I can't be here; I am a monster and Lucifer's true vessel."

John bent down to Sam's level. "No monster would save the people who scorn him, son you are a hero and this is where heroes belong." Sam smiled sadly. "I am no hero." Mary frowns. "You gave everything for god's children, that makes you a hero whether you agree or not young man." Sam smiled, "Thanks Mom." Mary hugged her youngest son; John wrapped his arms around both of them. "Welcome home, Sam." John and Mary pulled back, helping Sam up. "Let's go home; there are a lot of people who are going to be happy to see you." Sam smiled thinking of all the friends he lost, as his mind roamed his thoughts fell on the only reason he was home now.

"Where is Dean?" Sam questioned, "I thought he'd be right here with you to greet me." Mary and John looked at Sam confused. "Sam, Dean is not dead." Sam stopped dead in his tracks. "What do you mean, when we stopped the Leviathans and killed Dick he must have died in the backlash, how could he not be here?" Sam began to shake. "If he is not here, where is he, where is my brother!" John grabbed his son, shaking him slightly. "Sam calm down." Sam shook his head, tears falling from his eyes, "I need to find Dean; I promised myself I would never leave him." Mary hugged her son. "Sam it's too late, you are dead now, and Jody burned your body when she found it, you can't go back."

Sam looked at her sadly. "I can't leave Dean alone; I have already done that too many times." Mary looked at him sadly, "I'm sorry Sam but there is no way back to Dean now, he has to find his own way home." Sam fell to the ground. All the pain he had gone through in his death, all the people he must have hurt with his death was in vain because in the end he hadn't found Dean like he thought he would. Sam's head fell into his hands and he began crying. Mary bent down and held her little boy tight as he cried for his failed mission and his lost brother.


	3. Will Keep Waiting

Mary looked out the house window at her youngest son. Sam hadn't left the spot where he'd landed in their heaven.

"I'm worried, John." Mary turned to her husband. "He hasn't left that spot since we found him" John smiled reassuringly at his wife. "He lost his best friend, give him time." Mary starred at husband, incredulous. "I've given him time; he has been out there for too long." She turned to the door. "This needs to stop."

Mary opened the door and walked out to where Sam sat, bending down when she reached her son. "Sam, honey, come inside." She grabbed his hand. "Dean isn't going to be coming for a long time; you are going to exhaust yourself waiting for him." Sam starred ahead. "I can't leave mom, I need to be here when Dean comes." Sam smiled sadly. "I will wait out here forever if it means he knows that I never forgot him." Mary frowned in confusion. "He would never think that." Sam looked up at his mother. "He thought that when I went to Stanford."

He turned back. "He is my best friend, I need him to know I never stopped caring and the only reason I left was to find him. Mary opened her mouth to say something but stopped. She knew exactly what Sam was talking about. She never wanted John to think she'd forgot either. Mary smiled and squeezed Sam's hand. "I will bring you a sandwich and a blanket." Sam looked back at Mary and smiled. "Thanks mom."


End file.
